My Most Recent Whine About Technology

I'm not very tech-savvy.  In fact, this blog is the extent of my venture into anything in the cyber-universe, except my Yahoo email that I've had since 1999.

I-Phones, Smart Phones, whatever-phones are what all the cool kids are using these days.  I had a basic phone that I could use to make calls and text from that, in comparison to all of the new gadgets around, should be displayed in a museum along with the brick phone my husband had in the early 90's,

In fact, someone actually asked my husband recently about his phone which was the exact same as mine "Is that a pager?"  So offended was he that he insisted that we look at the new phones with all the data and funky apps and all of that.  Hesitantly I agreed to look- but seriously I was okay with what I had.  I spend so little of my time online anymore (evident by my sporadic postings and unfinished blog posts in my drafts folder) that having internet access at my fingertips 24/7 seemed so unnecessary.  All I want to do is make my calls, send the occasional text, and snap some pictures if I felt so inclined. 

So, at our visit to the AT & T store, salesman Corey promised us that once we go Smart phone we'll wonder how we could have ever lived without it.  He rambled off feature after feature, suggested some must-have apps, and assured us that we will be so happy with our new phones we will recommend them to everyone we know.

Corey is full of shit.  I hate this phone.  I even have an assistant app that can speak texts so I no longer need to actually type them myself, and I made sure that I reiterated that very fact to my husband after I had figured out how to work the stupid thing.  I REALLY DO HATE THIS PHONE. 

This is the phone we were suckered into buying.  I haven't sent a regular text in days because my fat fingers mess up on the touch-screen keyboard.  I haven't even tried to get on the internet, much less figure out how to download different ring tones or try to take a picture.

I need a Smart phones For Dummies app. 

So, while my husband is all in love with his new phone, I want to smash mine against a brick wall, only I can't because I bought the $40 case that promised to make the phone virtually indestructible. I want my old phone back.  Call me old school, but I was a lot less tense and more likely to use my phone then.  Today it rang and I couldn't even figure out how to answer it.  It was stuck in some mode that had no meaning.

I'm so glad I'm paying more for a phone that I will use so much less.  Thank you Corey.  If I could figure out how to call you, I'd be chewing you out right now instead of taping out my frustrations on my blog.

Satan Uses Infomercials to Pay His Bills

I believe Americans get duped into buying hordes of crap they see on TV infomercials through Satan's own subliminal messages. The inventors/marketers of these products use their wealth to finance Hell.  I mean, the heating bill there must be outrageous. 

Well, in my own way I've invested in some Hell stock.

I, too was once duped.  I was coerced into spending $50 for a product on TV that was only supposed to be $19.95 plus shipping and handling.  It was one of those battery-operated tweezer thingies.  I mean, it works okay, but no different from the manual pair of tweezers I got at the 99 Cents store years ago.  My husband still whines about "another one of my pointless purchases" every time he sees it.

And I've been eyeing Chaz Dean's Wen shampoo for months, but my thrifty-self just can't part with the $39.95 required for one bottle of shampoo. I don't have Alyssa Milano's bank account, so I guess I'll never have her hair.  When will he realize that budget-conscious housewives and middle-class Moms would be more likely to try his shampoo if was available at the local Target for around $10?

But I gotta tell you, recently my investment in Hell stock doubled.  I bought Perfect Tortilla Bowls.  The commercial really grabbed my attention- you can make your own perfect little tortilla bowls at home for a fraction of the cost of what they are in the supermarket.  Any they are baked, not fried so there is little guilt in eating one.  I mean, I love my taco salads!

And the price- way less than the Emjoi Tweeze.  It's true what the commercial says- they double your order, you get a recipe guide, and the Cut 'n Cup gadget!  All for under $20!

I'm sure that at some point they'll be for sale at Wal-mart in the As Seen On TV  isle.  That's where I found my Swivel Store spice rack.  Which I also love, by the way.  An item well worth the $19.95 plus tax, even my grumbling husband agrees as he ever-so-easily finds his barbecue dry rub.

But the Perfect Tortilla Bowls-  I just couldn't wait.  I had my credit card in one hand and the phone in the other so fast... and within a week they were waiting by my front door!

They work fabulously.  The recipe guides have some good ideas, too.  So don't be afraid to buy them!  You get four- that's right, four!- non-stick Perfect Tortilla bowls, 2 recipe guides and the Cut 'n Cup, for $10 plus tax, shipping and handling. 

I love them so much, I'm going to share one of my favorite recipes in the next post!

But I wonder, do people in Hell have perfect Alyssa Milano-like hair?