Contentment is Achievable

I've come to a point in my life where I've reached honest and total contentment. It's such a positive and peaceful feeling, I decided to share some of my secrets here.

For most of my adult life, achieving greatness was always my goal- meaning the idyllic career and lifestyle. As the monotony of marriage and child-rearing set in, again obtaining greatness was primary in this area as well.

How much is too much? I mean, the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect marriage, the perfect child... the perfect life. I was always looking toward the future. Someday I'll have it all, and then finally I can rest knowing my hard work paid off. When? At 50? Nah, how about now- at 34? Sadly I've realized through the tragic deaths of two dear cousins close to my own age that life can abruptly end, so I don't dwell on what I haven't achieved, but rather take full advantage of that which God has so richly blessed me with right now.

The other day I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes, of all things, when I had an unexplainable peace set over me, and I realized that at that very moment in time, there was no where else I'd rather be, or anything else I'd rather be doing. Funny, considering I was just washing dishes. For once I was CONTENT. And I don't even have a dishwasher.

I looked around at our adorable little townhouse, aka the Dollhouse, as I've come to call it because it truly looks like one, and I was so pleased that I was home. Not rushing about. Not looking around thinking, "oh- if only my place was bigger", or "oh- if only I had [whatever]."

I've come to the realization that there is nothing I need that I don't already have, or anything more I could have that would make me happy. Indeed I have it all, according to the goals I've set for myself when I was about 20 years old.

I do have the perfect marriage. So few understand this, but the truth is simple, I love my husband, and he loves me back. We love each other with such passion and fervor, but also with mutual respect for our own space and ideas. We laugh daily, hug often, and genuinely enjoy each others company. Several months ago, I arranged a surprise weekend getaway for us while TJ was at Grandma's, and I was giddy when I saw my husband of 12 years pull up in his big black truck to our rendezvous point. It was like reliving our first few dates.

I do have the perfect son. He's not always perfectly behaved, but he understands his role in our little family and he fills it well. He plays sports, most recently fall baseball, and we don't push him too hard. "Do your best!" is all we expect. He gets great marks in school, and so far loves the first grade, and he is an avid reader. He doesn't always pick up his toys or put things specifically where I'd like them to be, but he tries. And miraculously enough, the boy makes his bed every morning without even being told. I believe he flourishes because he resides in such a loving, noncritical, and often time humorous, environment. We don't ever take ourselves, or anything much for that matter, too serious. This was something I had to learn, however. When he was born, I was a very typical new Mommy. I read all the books, listened to all the doctors in what I thought to be "perfect" Mom advice until I discovered the most hidden and valuable secret in Mommyhood. You have to toss all those books out, tell the perfect Mommies to shut up, and quit thinking everyone is judging your skills as a parent. Truth is, no one really gives a rat's ass about how your kid turns out anyway- that job is yours and yours alone.

I do have the perfect job. I don't work for a Fortune 500 company, and I do not make "six-figures". What I have is flexibility in my employment which allows me to make being a wife and mother my number-one priority. I make a very comfortable wage, and it affords me the opportunity to have the lifestyle I'm so content with. My job is both rewarding and fulfilling, which I believe is what every one really desires anyway. It's my job, yes- but it's also something I can do every day and not hate myself for. I've been in that fast-paced, commission-driven work environment where everything was based on performance and demanded so much of my personal time that I can truly say "Been there, done that, no thanks."

I do have the perfect life. I'm no jet-setter. I don't hang out with the likes of Oprah or Obama, nor do I fly off to Europe on a regular basis "just because I can." Right now, I'm not even a homeowner. But guess what I do have? Virtually no debt. Vehicles I outright own. Cash left over after bill paying so I can splurge on weekend getaway for two without feeling guilty. I thrift shop because I love it, not necessarily because I have to. (Not that it's bad if you do!) My car is not brand new, but it has an awesome stereo, and it gets me anywhere I need to go on so very little in gas money. My home is not massive, I don't own expensive furnishings or have a maid, but it's more than affordable and I love our own little corner of the world where we live. My son goes to an excellent public school. (Which may I add was something I struggled with because the whole institution of public schooling scared me for a long time, even though I am a product of one.) We found a wonderful church home that promotes the importance of a solid family foundation and teaches the core moral principals which we strongly believe in.

I can go to sleep at night, and not worry about petty things. No drama.

So back to my original point of this post, I'm glad to be sharing today about contentment. It's something I've had to realize, not strive to achieve. I'm grateful I've reached this point in my life.

Realizing full and total contentment in my life didn't come without sacrifices or difficult choices. Don't think I've had it made in the shade. I can count at least four times in the past 15 years where I've experienced tough times and had to make life changing choices. I've retained my faith, ALWAYS, and let the unknown become what it may.

Achieving this also meant cutting certain people out of my life, even family at times. It meant understanding that I cannot expect to live by a certain moral code and yet permit what is acceptable to others become acceptable to me. It meant taking the hard road sometimes, giving up the easy road because it wasn't obtained honestly or by my own hard work.

So contentment is achievable, but it's up to you to decide at what level. Be responsible and honest with yourself when it comes to the choices you make. Live in the moment, but don't let a momentary decision become one that alters your life in a negative way. Don't care about what others may think. Do not live above your own means. Set values and standards for your life, and don't let others into your life whose lifestyle isn't agreeable with your own. Figure out what you love and what you're good at, and strive to make a living doing it. Don't be apathetic or otherwise unwilling to change.

So there- in a nutshell, you've got my basic foundation for what has lead me to realize my complacency. Questions or comments? Click on the comment link.