Confessions

I hear tell confession is good for the soul. Let's see.

I'm going to confess ten things that, if mentioned beyond the confines of this blog, would either result in some adverse consequence, cause one to scrunch their nose in disgust, or just in general embarrass the hell out of me. Here goes:

1. I wear flip-flops to work, even though my employee handbook states that "open-toed sandals and flip-flops/thongs are not appropriate office attire."

2. I had the biggest crush on my high school chemistry teacher. I would sit in his class and daydream about making out with him amid the beakers and sulfates.

3. I do not like when my husband makes ribs. They are just tough and gross.

4. I used to pick my nose, a lot.

5. When I was twenty-two, I found a purse. I kept an unopened tube of Merle Norman lipstick and the $7 that was in it, then threw the purse in a large commercial dumpster.

6. I think Jon Stewart is so sexy.

7. I used to work at the local burger joint when I was in high school, and one time I dropped an entire bag of buns onto the dirty, greasy floor. I just dusted them off and put them back up on rack.

8. I can't stand some of my ghetto in-laws.

9. I'm intimidated by people from India. I think they smell bad and have horrible accents when they speak English.

10. I love the movie Twister. I could watch it over and over.